Games for Sega Genesis

But it wasn’t enough for Wisdom Tree, no. They had to put out their games on the Sega Genesis console as well. Tell you the truth, these are all games I’ve reviewed already on NES. Sometimes the Genesis versions are different, like they were with Action 52, but this is not the case here. All these games are nearly identical to their 8-bit counterparts. Spiritual Warfare is pretty much the same. You know, that Legend of Zelda clone where drug dealers are shooting lasers at you from alleyways? Since the whole game functions just like Zelda, with item inventory and everything like that, wouldn’t it have been nice to use the same save feature? Instead, there’s this annoying password system. If you’re gonna copy anything from Zelda, have a save feature! And that was on NES. So you’d think with a more advanced console, they’d be able to do that again.

Then there’s Exodus and Joshua, which were both the same two games anyway, which were both adapted from a game called Crystal Mines. Not much to reiterate here; just going around blasting giant cheese puffs. Then, there’s Bible Adventures, which, again, is the same as the NES version, just with slightly different graphics. Gotta love that classic Baby Moses game. The best part’s drowning your own baby, and then killing yourself. Isn’t that nice. Then of course, there’s David and Goliath, which might as well be called David and thesheep, because that’s all you do, is carry sheep from one place to the next. Man. Who the hell is able to pick up three sheep and climb a tree? And this may seem like a minor complaint, but when you pause the game, the music keeps going. I hate games that do that. What if you get a phone call or something? You want it to go quiet. This game is extremely frustrating in its bad control. There’s a part where you have to climb up a mountain, but no matter how hard you try, you keep slipping off the platforms! UHN! UNNNH! HUHHN! Oh All right, here we go, here we go–UNH!  You’d think these are doors, right?

Well, guess what? You can’t go in. They’re just for decoration. So, maybe they’re miniature monoliths from 2001. When you do manage to get to the top, there’s nowhere left to go. You have to take a shitty guess and jump at thin air. See, there’s another platform you’re supposed to reach, but you never know otherwise. It’s literally a leap of faith. The other game on the cartridge is Noah’s Ark. This is the one where you painstakingly have to pick up every animal on the screen and carry them to the ark. I’ve mentioned before how Noah is some super-strong freak of nature, but he does have his limits. He can jump while carrying almost any animal, but an ox, nope, that’s too much. Every animal has their own specific rules, and it makes no sense.


When Game Is Too Bad

Every pixel in this game is a sin. First of all, I don’t get the title: Flight to Egypt? You’re not flying, you’re riding on a donkey, or an ass if you prefer. What airline is this? Ass Express? And yes, I know the word “flight” doesn’t necessarily mean aviation, but, hey, it’s a freaking joke. Your only attack is this embarrassing, dinky little kick which can’t harm anything, unless it’s right up in your ass. Or I should say, your ass’s ass, not your ass that’s sitting upon the ass. I guess you’re supposed to be on a mountain, because you’re always moving upward. You think you’re moving right horizontally, but really you’re on an upward slant, spiraling around, so if you fall down, you’re actually backtracking to where you just were. Isn’t that weird? And what’s with all the ice stages? You’re supposed to be going to Egypt.

Did you get sidetracked on the freaking North Pole? When you collect health, it only counts if you’re able to answer a Bible question. “I beheld blank as lightning fall from heaven.” Hmm… anyone who’s seen Street Fighter: The Movie should know that one. And here’s a tip: any time it’s a true or false question, if it has anything to do with killing, then it’s always true. There’s not much else to say about this shitheap. I might as well just leave it at, “It’s bad.” But the truth is, it’s even worse. At least we can check out the ending. “They arrive safely in Egypt, and an angel visits Joseph.” And… that’s it? Did anything else happen? Did the angel say anything? Did the sight of the angel make Joseph stick in his stomach?

Did the donkey stalk them in their sleep? What happened?! I assumed that I pressed a button by mistake and actually canceled out the rest of the ending, but no, I’ve actually beaten the game multiple times, just to try and solve this mystery, and the same thing happens: it just stays on this screen until you press something, and then it returns you to the main menu. But I’m aware that the last screen is supposed to be plain text that says, “Give your heart to Jesus,” but I’m not seeing it, so I’m assuming I’m supposed to beat all three games to see the true ending, and I’m not going through all that trouble. Although, I will give my heart to Jesus. Ooh! Gah! Ah, Jesus!


Religion In Video Games

The most annoying is the snakes. Man, Noah has some balls to be rescuing snakes. Indiana Jones wouldn’t do that; no, he thinks Noah is a snake-saving shit-sucker. Pee-wee Herman once saved snakes, but he fainted. That’s right, in order of manliness: Indiana Jones, then Peewee, and then  Noah. Keep in mind, Noah also has to be able to identify the male and female animals. So, how does he have such a keen instinct for this? I mean, I’m no bird expert, but does the toucan exhibit any clear signs of its gender? If it’s a female, does Noah look at it and think to himself, “Look at the cans on that toucan.” The graphics are dull. If you want a decent game, find it here: https://casinoslots-ie.com/playfrank There’s so much brown. The ark is brown, the trees are brown. Why’s everything gotta be the color of shit? It might as well be shit. Yeah, those trees in the background are like logs of shit coming outta God’s ass. It’s holy shit. Things get all  by level three. You gotta start collecting seven of each animal. Seven? What, are you kidding me? The monkeys. I hate them.

They’re so hard to catch. I’m gonna get you, you stupid monkey. Yeah, whatever it takes, face. You’re slime. You’re filth. I’m gonna rip you apart. Oh, and you’re actually not supposed to save the monkeys. You’re supposed to get the fruit that they’re throwing. Really? How was I supposed to guess that? So, the monkeys are supposed to drown in the flood after all. One of the worst things about this game is that Noah needs to visually inspect every animal you catch. It’s not enough that the inventory is on the screen, clear as day. But no, you gotta watch every single animal run into the ark, one after another. Imagine if in Super Mario Brothers after you beat the level, you have to watch every  coin bounce across the screen. I can’t believe I actually decided to play through this whole game. I was curious about the ending, and it’s not worth bragging about. It’s just a suitcase floating in the sewers. Oh, wait, that’s supposed to be the ark with the flood. It rests on the mountaintop, and that’s it.

Well, that’s Bible Adventures. That takes care of all the Bible games on Genesis. I could end things now, but I really don’t want there to ever be a Bible Games 4, so, there’s one little bit of unfinished business: an NES game called King of Kings. I already reviewed this as part of my first Bible Games episode. It has three games in it: Jesus and the Temple, which is that Mario 2 ripoff where you’re hopping across logs. Then there’s The Wise Men, where you’re traveling to baby Jesus. That means it’s the only Christmas game. Isn’t that the whole reason I did this in December? Why did I do all these other Bible games? I guess when it comes to bad games, I go above and beyond. But the one game I slacked on was Flight to Egypt.


Full Tilt Poker Room for Experienced Players!

Software
Why to play
Minimum System Requirements:

  • Windows 98, 2000, ME or XP
  • Download size: Approx 7MB
  • 15MB of hard disk space
  • 64MB of RAM required
Bonus info
Sign up and receive 100% up to $600 on your first deposit!
  • Backed by the biggest names in poker
  • Huge sign-up bonus
  • Earn Full Tilt Points when playing
  • Good game selection, includes Razz
  • Excellent graphics, choose your own avatar
  • Good stats and “See last hand” features
  • Fast support response
  • Casino deposit methods canada

Bonus Terms and Conditions

Full Tilt offer the biggest sign-up bonus around right now, 100% or up to $600 for your first deposit
The bonus money is set aside in a special bonus account, the funds are released when you play in real money cash games or tournaments and are awarded based on your Full Tilt Points. In cash games, for example, for each dollar raked from the pot every player dealt cards in that hand will earn 1 point. Players can earn up to 3 points per hand. Each point is worth $.06.
To earn the full $600 bonus players must make 10,000 Full Tilt Points. However, funds are released in $100 portions, 1,666 points are required for each $100. The 100% bonus is the largest in the industry, but if you cap the bonus, it will take you approximately 200 table hours (if you play two tables at once, about 100 hours of play would be required) to clear the entire bonus.

Background

Full Tilt have many big name poker players with an interest in the poker room, they include Phil Ivey, Howard Lederer, Chris Ferguson, Clone Gowan, Erik Seidel, John Juanda, Phil Gordon. Erick Lindgren and Andy Bloch. Each can often be seen playing at various stake levels in the poker room. Many of these top players had a significant hand in the creation of the software, and greatly influenced the game play you experience at Full Tilt. All of the above stars play at Full Tilt at times, and anyone who has played with them notes that they are all friendly, chat a lot, and make it a positive experience for anyone playing at their table.
The poker room was launched in 2004 and has becoming increasingly popular due to the exposure the professional players have given it.
Full Tilt Poker holds a gaming license from the Kahnawake Gaming Commission, a respected body in the world of poker and online gaming.

Poker Games Offered

Texas Holdem, Omaha, Omaha H/L, 7 Card Stud, 7 Card Stud H/L and Razz

Player Traffic

Full Tilt is becoming a very popular site; the chance of playing No Limit Holdem with Phil Ivey or Pot Limit Omaha with Andy Bloch is certainly a big selling point for this poker room. Traffic ranges from 2000+ at off peak times up to 6000+ at peak. You can be sure if one of the stars are playing at a Holdem table, there will be a long waiting list for a seat, unless the star joins a table where you are already seated, it could take a while before you get to join in the action against a famous name. Holdem is well populated at all times, Omaha and Stud have a regular following but finding a game is easier at peak times.

Playability

Playability is very good, the software and graphics have a nice, smooth feel about them. The avatars can be turned on and off or made to show different facial expressions, such as smiling, laughing, angry and sad – a nice touch, if not very useful. Despite what some may describe as a “cartoon” feel to the graphics, the game play is quite serious with some of the higher stake tables containing very skilled poker players, however, the lower levels are easier to cope with and beginners should not be put off trying their luck here.

Deposit options

Major credit cards, FirePay, Neteller and Epassporte are included in the banking options.

Software, Promotions and Extra Features

The software cannot be faulted; even at very busy times it still runs smoothly and has an “easy on the eye” look throughout. The avatars may not be to everyone’s tastes but they can be switched off. Alongside some excellent freerolls which can be bought into with Full Tilt Points, there is a $600 (or 100%) sign-up bonus available, perhaps the biggest in the online poker industry right now, the bonus is released in $100 portions so even players who spend little time playing online should get a bankroll boost from their play here.

Customer Service

First class, the website contains a lot of information but other queries are answered quickly by email.

Site Security

128 Bit encryption technology makes Full Tilt Poker very secure. The financial people behind the site are well funded, and shrewd business people. The endorsement of the multi-millionaire, professional players should make players confident about depositing money here, as many of them resisted endorsing other sites to wait, and do things the way they wanted. Players can feel very secure about having their monies deposited at Full Tilt.

Betting Systems – The Ugly Truth

Everyone who gambles has met someone with a system. You don’t meet poker players or serious blackjack players who have systems because they don’t need them. Poker and Blackjack have a large element of skill to them to balance out the luck quotient over time. You meet horse players who have systems all the time, but the house advantage in horse racing is way higher than in a game like roulette, and it’s too high in roulette. The house takes anywhere from 15% to 25% in horse racing so you are starting at a huge disadvantage. Information can help you, however, in horse racing.

There is no information in craps or roulette. They are 100% games of chance. As such people devise betting systems to try and counteract the house advantage.

There are a lot of systems out there: doubling-up (a progressive system of betting also known as the Martingale system), doubling-up +1, cancellation, raising and lowering, and hundreds of subtle variations on these common themes. They all have one thing in common: they do not work. You will ultimately lose, because over time only one thing matters, the house edge. Systems merely delay the inevitable.

There is one way to win at casino, and that is to be lucky and then to leave. The longer you play the more likely it is that those odds will catch up to you. Most systems require you to increase your initial bet until you recoup your losses. If this was simple heads and tails it would be a great idea. If you bet $5 on heads and tails came up all you would have to say is “double or quits” and keep repeating that until heads came up. In heads and tails there are no maximum betting limits so you could keep going until heads came up, even if you were betting $1 million to break even. But in a casino there are limits and it just takes one long streak of reds to break you when you’re doubling up, or doubling up and adding one on black.

Furthemore, in heads and tails there is no 5% house edge to contend with. The fundamental problem with every betting system in games of chance is that you start off with the odds against you, and the more you bet the more that negative factor becomes significant. It is like owning a store and selling everything at a 5% loss. Eventually you’re going to go bankrupt. So what should you do?

If you play roulette or craps you need to ensure that if you do get lucky you have maximized your win. Don’t bet on corners when you could be betting on a number. Play as few spins of the wheel or rolls of the dice as possible. Most gamblers fail because they enjoy drawing out the experience. If you budget $100 for roulette then spend that on two spins of the wheel. If you win leave the table as soon as possible (never leave a roulette table on a winning spin – play until the winning streak ends and then cash out your winnings). If you lose leave the table immediately. Playing roulette or craps requires tremendous discipline. You must risk your stake quickly and leave with your profits. If you get sucked in you will lose in the long run.

If you want to be entertained spend your time learning how to play blackjack. Here you can pass all the time you like and there is little in the way of house edge, as long as you know what you’re doing. Your trips to the roulette and craps tables must be brief and purposeful. If you go there with a betting system you will end up with nothing.


The Question of Casino Online and Its Contemporary State

In the contemporary world people can’t manage without PCs since computers really simplify life, today one could even earn in the www, e . g ., trying online casino real money. These days men and women are trying to execute all the things faster. Persons look for various methods of saving their time. Personal computers and Internet help people perform lots of procedures very fast. This lets people get much more minutes or even hours for something else. A person won’t need to spend precious hours trying to get somewhere, standing in a jam. Every morning you don’t have to lose valuable minutes doing ironing. Lots of things’re today carried out this way: people pay for different things over the Internet, transfer data, call from one country to another one. They might even unwind utilizing the internet, play games, for example. online casino real money may not simply let a person spend a fantastic time but in fact earn a little.

A range of casino online games is quite large. Card games, for example, are pretty popular. It depends on the person which sort of Internet games to pick. While playing online casino real money games on the net a person may not only rest but also attempt to win a big amount of bucks and maybe strain a head a little because there exist several online casino real money games which will require brain work. One additional benefit of gambling casino online is surely the absence of human agency. You don’t have to communicate with other individuals directly, this can help prevent various not good quarrels. And also when somebody plays a game on the personal computer, there exists a possibility to stop a game for a minute at any time. While playing casino on pc one might assess chances and possibilities more easily.

Numerous websites want to have a great number of participants and in order to attract people they offer online casino real money bonus. Many sites have bonuses for beginners. On-line money is provided once an individual subscribes. That’s not the only one bonus offered. There can be many types and quantities of bonuses depending upon a site and also upon the casino game which an individual wants to pick. One can’t help visiting online poker room. This online casino real money game might be called a king among all other card games. Here your intellectual ability is of great importance. Poker tournaments’re taking place pretty often and they are considered very conspicuous. And also a sum that can be gained here is often rather substantial.

Today it’s not a problem to find an online casino real money site. A number of these sites is quite large now and, certainly, everyone seeks a website which will meet one’s needs and desires. Probably the most important issues for people that decide which web-site to select is the choice of games that is available on a site and those bonuses which are presented. The better conditions, the more players choose this or that web page. Anyhow casino games online is surely worth trying.


Why Is Roulette Game Preferred Currently?

Currently roulette game is very preferred and this gains popularity day-to-day. Internet roulette definitely supply the identical advantages as conventional casino houses. So long as you possess the net connection you may access almost any online casino table games. In addition, along with the growth of internet you do not need to travel to Nevada to play roulette game. Nowadays almost all live roulette gamers can enjoy the benefits of online casinos. During past years a lot of gamblers have registered at distinctive online casinos, specially the casinos which present roulette. If you’re enthusiastic about roulette, you actually ought to realize that there are two main forms of roulette gameplay – the American roulette and also the European one. However, it’s vital to mention that those forms of roulette are the same. But, the American type of game features double zero on the roulette wheel. Regardless of what online casino you select to attend, you’ll certainly have got a possibility to consider 1 of those forms of online roulette game.

In case you don’t know any internet casino, this is not a difficulty. To experience casino roulette game you only must do some internet research. Modern-day search websites can provide you a great list of internet casino web-sites to select right from. You actually need to know that different online casino web pages provide numerous bonus items and reductions if you enroll. Moreover, there are such internet casinos which can offer free roulette game. Cost-free roulette is actually for all who crave to know methods to execute live roulette or just choose to execute roulette for enjoyment with no money. If you are new to live roulette, you will not waste your revenue that way. In addition, cost-free live roulette is actually an awesome option for professional players to try brand new playing tactic.


Right now flash roulette game is really alluring and well-liked and there’re lots of different reasons for that. You’ll find loads of different ways in which gamblers may put the wagers. For instance, you may bet on one figure or even on a group of numbers. Additionally, you might bet on black color or even red color. Presently online roulette can supply lots of distinctive bonuses and advantages to those enjoying online. A few of internet casinos supply a chance to download roulette game application to experience better game experience.

You could profit by various internet casinos in event you prefer to test this or you like this game. A few people find it difficult to reject the deals that casino houses produce for their gamers. However, it is crucial to ensure you’ve got good enough money for playing. Another crucial thing for you to note is the fact it isn’t suggested to risk money you can’t afford to waste. To avoid dropping all the bucks you cannot manage to lose is to cease playing roulette in case you see that this isn’t lucky day. Surely, there’re lots of alternative tips for people who prefer to perform roulette. However still, just before you actually subscribe with the internet casino, you actually must complete adequate analysis.


Brand New Poker Online Activities: What are These?

There can be nothing more effective than to relax, and you’ll find a few persons who may believe vice versa. It is most likely the most potential explanation to explain a very wide range of different types of amusement and hobby areas. There might always be many various activities to do, in particular now the moment people may well observe the entertainment world establishing just like a gust of wind, so it may perhaps become a little bit trouble some to determine anything special, for instance trying to play poker online and, what is even more, to stay loyal to this hobby for a long time.

No matter what exactly people are fond of performing, it is more than essential to savor this. What’s the cause persons strive for enjoyment, peace, relax and excitement? You may normally find the chance just to play poker online when poker is simply the sheer passion, favorite pastime, or in fact a solution to earn effortless profit. Any time you are decisive enough to learn about poker key points sometime, you will be very shocked by such variety of them in different lands, and this can be no wonder since every team who enjoy this casino online game see the game from their way. Gaming provides no limits or difficulties, particularly today while the net offers almost all varieties of easy access? To be a newbie in playing poker online is actually extremely exciting and compelling since a fresh poker player sees card blends that differ very much from all those of experienced on line poker players. How many instances have we by now learned about all the fascination and pros and minuses of internet resources, thus it is high time to look at several of the latter at least, that is you may begin from trying free poker online.

Get time to look for the right gambling sites, notably poker online sites which provide the perfect conditions for enjoying gambling that may help you dive into the spectacular aura of enjoyment, adrenaline and happiness. High technologies provide us a pleasant opportunity to speak to players while playing or after the casino online games to reveal the feel and the whole set of stuff, so to say, also to take part in competitions and poker contests. Clearly, it can be an extremely good solution to widen the area of knowledge in betting, otherwise it is really hard to step up in gaming.

Card boxes, panel online games, cards games, cash games, poker online games – several of these date back to age-old times, and that suggests that a person cannot live with no gaming entertainment, thus enjoy them all and have fun. For some online poker players, principally rookies, it may at first seem that the top concept is actually to put together the maximum ranking hand of out of pack so doing this get the maximum of all the table bets that are gambled. Even so, the first thing is to give all the effort for the game and then while accomplishing it obtain the highest possible of thrilling experience which can only be attainable. Whenever you manage to have the highest ranking, the straight flush, for example, it is your luck and it can come to you sometimes, yet if you already can merge and blend different schemes and win – this is what gets you towards getting crazy about playing poker online for fun and awards!


Profitable Online Free Roulette

The gambling establishments with online free roulette opportunities is an exceptional opportunity for you to enjoy this fantastic world of wagering in the instance you come up to be an authentic follower of the roulette activity. So that you may find a way to get pleasure from this game there happen to be loads of distinct advances which seem to be handy in altering the gambling to your taste. As an instance, there show up to be such possibilities similar to tone and also layout customization, discussion boards, downloadable and no download roulette applications. The chance to get the application complimentary is the most useful advantage. Online free roulette software is not always enough trustworthy, yet it seems to be potential to undertake a minor analysis and learn from the professionals where to find the greatest one. In many instances, you are going to be inquired to sign up. Enrollment, however, is not always mandatory, as for instance at the self-governing sources. In the Instance you wish to go for online free roulette no download it’s going to be simpler to compare the quality of the layout.

When you enroll in a roulette gambling den you definitely acquire numerous extras. Anytime a bettor is trying to find anything advantageous in a virtual betting casino it turns out to be merely vital to opt for any sort of online free roulette bonus. Thus you might benefit from the free dollars provided by the casino by means of a benefit and begin making bets using the free funds. Absolutely in the event you are on the hunt for a roulette reward casino then the bonus which they offer need to be examined because roulette incentive gambling dens are competing companies and you may frequently come across a better one in the instance you are attentive. It seems to be sometimes difficult to derive any profit from a minor incentive furnished, but it appears to be merely the matter of being able to deal with them adequately.

Undoubtedly roulette turns out to be a chance game, which implies that no bettors is capable to control the gameplay consequence. But, it doesn’t imply that there are no roulette techniques for victory. If a risk taker enjoys roulette without any virtual wagering strategy, he probably will waste his cash in favor of the casino. However, it shows up to be a widespread reality that the achievement in this gameplay depends generally on the strategy. Quite possibly a simple online free roulette strategy may be handy when you are having fun in a betting house. Some players at times validate the credibility of the approach using it in an online free roulette game. No limitation gameplays are designed for players that grow to be actually absorbed by the gameplay. No limit services turn out to be really much treasured by internet players. Any aggravations is going to be soon driven to minimum for the fact that the conditions of wagering on the internet also as from the pc are being constantly upgraded. Altogether internet gambling houses attempt to provide their constant visitors by means of the newest options to fulfill all their betting requirements.


Tremendous Range of Bingo Balls and Cards

It’s not a secret that bingo balls are the fundamental aspect of this exciting bingo session. Basically, it’s a real entertainment to take advantage of this particular wagering gambling with laughing companions. They usually buy bingo balls and other recommended gadgets of various trade marks. (blank), there exists a advanced overseas bingo segment. A number of stores grant many different elements for any preference along with price range. Generally, the established consumers own reward cards. Savings discount technique is extremely rewarding. The participants collect distinctive tickets with figures set in arbitrary order. As a matter of fact, there may be some time rules. A gambling lotto pouch with metal or wooden bingo balls is chosen for matches. Thus, the features are eye-catching. If there exist no objections or oppositions, gentleman or she obtains the reward. It might be everything from cash to apparatus and journey deals.

Some humans like online bingo tournaments. Realistically, they’re the professional players who acquire money, playing the bingo rounds. Obviously each day tens of thousands of women try their good fortune here. Additionally, the bingo fan is free to pick in what way to play, for good or funny money. If you have adopted a decision to use personal money, it may be fundamental to sign up the banking account. Occasionally they provide info concerning fraudulent gambling software packages providers. As a rule web bingo halls provide such variants as 75, 80, and 90 ball bingo. There might be certain restrictions concerning cash which is possible to be withdrawn. The initial deposit is essential for real games. It is vital to explain different options obtainable by all on line hall players. Definitely, knowledgeable gamblers desire to benefit from chat rooms when taking part in exciting game of hazard. It might help you to learn common rules as well as try out numerous solutions.

It doesn’t matter what kind of bingo game you download, the fundamental aspect is fun, no doubt. If you plan to gain some cash, it’s obligatory to work with Web technologies, for sure. However if the goal is to entertain playful attendees, it is better buy a bingo game set. Typically cost range is moderate. A person can buy cheap bingo kit, but there are actually pricy ones. Ticket type is multiform. Special components are also offered. Essentially, no matter what you order, individual way of thinking is definitely important. In fact bingo is a delightful opportunity to keep head up. Every meeting may be amusing if anyone starts up a betting competition with amusive rewards. Never feel shy to establish your relaxation amusing. Necessary statistic is generally released on betting blogs along with resources.